Hints of Summer

My parents left this week, after 2 weeks of visiting. I had big plans for my time with my mom: we were going to organize, and paint rooms, and somehow turn my house into the Pinterest-worthy imaginary house I envision is some day in my future (it’s totally not in my future, but a girl can dream). Instead, we chatted, and lounged on the couch, and talked about all our plans but then never did any of them.

My mom likes to analyze the way that the house and family are working; she loves the word “coding”, and thinks a lot about how our kids are functioning in our family and in their lives. She raised my sister and me, and spent much of her career helping kids and families function. This visit, she helped us figure out little tweaks to our routine that might help our stressful times (mealtimes in particular) run a little more smoothly.

Mealtimes in our house are - more often than not - rushed and chaotic, but also unending and tedious. Our evenings are filled with sports for at least one kid, and the entire family isn’t home until about 7pm. That inevitably leads to hangry kids, with no meal ready before 7:15 at the earliest. Before this week, we would get home, make the food, and serve it to the kids. They would tell us what they wanted, but they had no control over how much they were given. We always tried to give reasonable sized servings, and we thought we were doing the right thing to prevent food waste. But meals always ended up with arguments, and playing, and dawdling, and upset parents and kids. The past 2 weeks, dinner was ready with the table set and food on the table ready to be served when we walked in the door - certainly not always feasible, especially for families where both parents work full time - but for right now it’s something our family can try. We are letting the kids serve themselves, and they’re learning portion control and independence over choices. As parents who lean toward the controlling side of the spectrum, this is a tough transition for us. My husband and I both like to make sure things in the house run as efficiently as possible… we have to with 3 kids and full lives. But I think our control issues were stealing independence from our kids, and that ultimately does a serious disservice to our boys. So, we’re trying to change, and I think that’s what parenting really is. Learning exactly what your tiny humans need, and then having to change everything you’ve learned a week later. But it’s good.

Growth is good. Change is good.

My mom is also a pescatarian, so she only eats fish and veggies/fruit. Invariably, when she comes, we don’t have the right food for her, so she heads to Fresh Market. It’s the closest she can come to her local food co-op at home, and she loves it there. There are always delicious vegetarian and fish choices, and of course there’s a plentiful wine section. This visit, she gravitated toward sangria, in particular Capriccio Sangria. It’s bubbly, and red, and light, and delicious. It was especially good mixed with lemonade, and I imagine that this summer we will spend a lot of time gazing at the lake with laughing children and full glasses of this delicious treat. For now, while I anxiously await our trip north, I savored my time with my family and my daily hints of summer.

Shandy Dandy